ironic

i saw alanis morissette in concert on Saturday - words truly cannot describe. a master – an artist – a true inspiration. watching her is like watching a sculptor create a masterpiece out of a mound of nothingness. the epitome of a musical artist – a lyricist, songwriter and performer. she sang each note with conviction, each word with honesty, each movement with uninhibited freedom.

it was actually quite liberating to watch someone be so free that it made a mass of individuals ranging from every race, gender and sexual orientation be able to let go and be apart of a single pure moment.

a sociologist by the name of robert bly describes our insecurities/ development as a long bag we drag behind ourselves. it’s a metaphor for the “baggage” we all carry with us. i tried to tell molly about this bag and her reaction was “wait what? where do we get this bag?” i think she thought it was something you could pick up at the GAP or maybe comes for free with a purchase of $30 worth of Lancôme products at Lord & Taylor.

when we are born our bag is empty. e live life unaware of social expectations and do what we want. if we want to cry we cry, if we want to dance we dance, and if we want to touch ourselves under the diaper because it simply feels good we do so against the glaring eyes of aunt ida in the corner.

throughout the socialization process of our culture our bag begins to be filled. typically our bag is filled with the same things that our caregivers carry with them – the same insecurities. we are taught to deny sexuality – it goes in the bag. we are taught that boys don’t cry – throw emotions go in the bag. we are taught that girls are passive – gently place aggression into the bag.

in short - when all is said and done - there is a base amount of emotions allowed to be felt by men and women. women are allowed to feel every emotion except for anger, contempt and pride – and yet the only emotions allowed to men are the ones forbidden for women.

everything else - emotions/ feelings/ actions – gets placed into the bag. once in the bag these emotions, things, parts of an individual identity do not die – they become blocked from our lives, we forget their existence. by the time someone hits their twenties their bag is overflowing. they are filled with the insecurities of high school, the resentment of sexual urges and an ever-present feeling to be in a place in our lives where we have been told we should be.

after this period – we spend the rest of our life trying to sort things out. if we’re lucky we realize that the bag needs to be opened – to self examine everything that makes us tick and re-examine everything we denied ourselves. we learn to love the aspects of ourselves that we assume are not good; for the items in the bag are not things that we disapprove of but of what we think others will disapprove of.

watching alanis tonight was watching a person carry a bag so light that she could fly. with her lift powering the masses you could feel a collective weight being resolved as our bags were inspected.

alanis has an openness about her that cannot be denied. when she felt like ticking she ticked, when she wanted to run she ran – she wasn’t scare to leap and if she wanted to twirl on stage for 2 minutes, well god-dammit she fucking did it.

as this magical experience took place – i looked around to the balcony (from my seventh row orchestra seating – thank god I make enough money to take advantage of the privileges of capitalism) and saw a group of drunken frat boys singing along to hand in my pocket; i look to my right and see a group of truly scorned middle aged woman going crazy to you oughta know; a gay couple holding hands singing to ironic; and a single man just loving life.

a truly pure experience transcends any group and brings out the freedom that we all crave. this is the freedom to express ourselves, to be honest with our feelings and the joy of being apart of a unified group in a society based upon preconceived notions and stereotypes.

maybe I’m reading too much into things – but looking around at that group of people i couldn’t help but smile. let me break it down – i love britney spears more than anything – potentially the greatest performer of our generation. i love celine dion – the greatest technical singer since sound recordings began. mariah carey – the greatest selling female artist of all time.

britney performs, celine sings, and mariah does everything else. really mariah does everything that alanis does (singer, songwriter, performer, producer – the list goes on and on) – but what lacks is the basic emotion that can hit you at the core. alanis did it for me – she did it for us all.

in ninety minutes of watching an individual live for the moment – uncaring and unapologetic - i learned how to heal myself. just think what would happen if we surrounded ourselves with this type of energy on a continuous basis? not faking through life as one of pure optimism or facing the world with a smile on our face – but of being true to yourself, living life with your innate gifts given to you.

i say open the bag – see what’s in there. if it’s shitty – well let’s deal with it. but I know that the majority of my bag is filled with gifts that I was nervous about sharing, ideas and actions i was to scared to commit too or show to the world. i bet you have the same.

so let’s make a deal – one week of purity, of true honest emotion and acting with uncaring regard to the opinions of others.

i have a feeling this is easier said than done but i think I might try and give it a whirl.

if you do the same – let me know how it turns out.