cum dumpster

have you ever been used?

eh - we all have.

but on different levels.

as you may, or may not know - i have made a plethora of changes over the last year and half. they range from being completely content with being single, to dating a boy, contemplating marriage and eventually moving in with said boy. after that there was a break-up, a continuing co-habitation situation and thoughts of an eternal friendship.

in the end - they have all fell apart.

but i wouldn't trade my experiences for anything. i've learned so much about myself, life and relationships over the last year.

in the past i've been in relationships i didn't care about and have been used. i feel recently i have been in relationships where i did truly learn to love, but was ultimately used in the same manner.

i hope the next time around i can find an equilibrium - a situation where i can love, trust and feel as one.

but if i don't - i feel confident that i'll be fine with myself and the people i surround myself with.

i won't make the same mistakes twice (or in reality a third or fourth time - i've lost count).